The awards
Mom's greatest hits
A totally official, extremely scientific list of Mom's most legendary accomplishments.
Best Hug in a Leading Role
Unanimous winner. Multiple decades. No competition.
Most Likely to Know Where Your Missing Thing Is
It was right where she said it would be. Annoying.
Lifetime Achievement in Worrying
About things we hadn't even thought of yet.
Excellence in Snack Distribution
There has never been a normal amount of snacks. There has only been MORE.
Best Supporting Text Message
'Did you eat?' — sent at the exact moment we needed it.
Most Accurate 'Bring a Jacket' Prediction
Correct 100% of the time. We will not elaborate.
Outstanding Performance in Making Everyone Feel Loved
Even the in-laws. Even the dog. Even the friend who came over once in 2014.
The 'I Told You So But I'm Too Nice to Say It' Award
She just gives a look. We feel it in our bones.
Most Valuable Mom
Permanently retired jersey. No one else can have it.
Queen of the Family Group Chat
Forwards everything. Loves everything. Voice memos every reply.